Tal Goreans!
I was inspired to write again especially in regards to free women. What remains on many venues we once all loved, has truly become void of Free women. Unfortunately too many surrendered women jump between the two positions so much that many have written off the value of a Gorean Free woman.
Someone dear to me has re-invigorated my passion to revisit my own station as a Free woman over many years, and to share with women who are committed to following the path of a free citizen, and remaining one, rather then manipulating and using the position selfishly.
Thank you so much, you are very special to me. Zero sum game.
The Cloak of Freedom, Gorean Free Women of Today,
What is the cloak of Freedom to a woman within the ethos of Gorean thought?
It, the cloak, might portray a physical symbol of our refusal to bow to anyone or anything that may impede or destroy our freedom. The cloak of freedom is a foundation stone that determines our intimate relationships, companionship’s based on Gorean ethos. Let’s explore this freedom that many find so difficult to understand. There are many keys to living a alternative lifestyle under the flag of Gor, I will be discussing three of these realistic keys to being a Gorean free woman.
Most women in the Gorean novels are free, this fact is indisputable by Normans writing itself. A very small percent of women are slaves. It is not a gigantic leap to advocate that free women in the novels must therefore satisfy roles that slaves can not. There are many quotes about men falling free women, that free women are pilfered, enslaved, and ruined completely. Still, the fact remains that the actuality of the population on the fictional planet is principally free even after so many tales of terror, and enslavement.
The fictional free woman in the novels is a mother to her sons, her daughters, and a home maker. She is head of her house. Her duties besides being a companion to her man must range from large to small given the financial background of each house. She has been taught from a young age many arts, cooking, dancing, how to walk, how to be beautiful, and how to be modest in public to name just a few.
Her modesty as a free woman is best expressed in clothing in the books. The higher the caste the more complex the clothing is. Free women are for the most part treated with respect, courtesy, and honor especially women in a higher caste. Not unlike today’s society. A Presidents wife would be treated with deep respect, where a farmer’s wife might only see that respect in her own smaller circles of friends, and family. There is no doubt a community status, and financial backing defines the status of women in roles to this day.
How does a woman wearing the cloak of freedom find her definition in today’s times, rather than the fiction of Normans books? If she participates in defining herself in clothing as the women in fiction have, she would certainly look odd if she bore the today’s garb of say a Muslim woman when in fact she was a Caucasian, Asian, or even African woman, and not a religious Muslim woman adhering to middle eastern culture. Unfortunately, our Muslim women are often looked at oddly or chastised for their veils, or religious garb in North America culture. So then how can a free woman define herself, if she can not describe herself with robes of concealment ranging from simple to complex baring her financial background to describe her freedom?
Modesty.
Modesty does not have a veil, it is an existence of choice. There is no where in the world, nor in the books that state free women hate sex. In fact, the books themselves state how women were taught to care for their men. The ever-present message of submissive women that whispers that free women are unwelcome, unwanted, or unable to provide for men sexually is simply petty gossip. Some men certainly prefer one kind of woman over the other. Just as they prefer a pant color, or a shirt color. It’s a simple preference.
“girls who will be free companions, and never slaves, learn the preparation and serving of exotic dishes, the arts of walking, and standing and being beautiful, the care of a man’s equipment, the love dances of their city, and so on.” (Nomads)
Free women have the choice of freedom, men too have choice over the compliment of woman they want at their side. Now, in online venues it is obvious that men are choosing women who have stated their submission to them. The community from its early stages has drastically dwindled in numbers so to compare the very small group remaining in online venues to those who came before and have now moved on to other places would be subjective at best. In other words, to say men only desire the companionship of consensual slavery would be inaccurate. Also, for the women who are spending their focus on their freedom, take some time ladies to observe the venues of online you are at. For example, should you be on an alternative lifestyle board, or group, you are looking at a mass of people that are not invested solely in Gorean ethos. In an small pooling of folks who are interested in finding that someone with the same values, and or desire to be part of Gorean Philosophy it must be said, the odds are not in your favor given just the number of people available or participating at this time. Available, or uncommitted Gorean men and women are rare.
What we see online, or even so at live gatherings in the past is that some men do not treat free women with respect, courtesy, and honor. Some women have made a choice of using their free will behind the scenes to approach men they are attracted to and submit quietly while pretending a freedom. They take on this choice in their minds to be safely hidden from the public eye as a submissive to taste both worlds. This is not acceptable behavior for free women. It is not modest. Giving away their cloak of freedom has the consequence of losing their rights to respect, modesty and courtesy.
There are other consequences to these actions as well. They are mocked by submissive women who are aware of their actions and like the game of telephone become half told whispered intimacies and are openly talked about behind their backs. Then you have consensual submissive women willingly approach men in hopes that they may out-man-oeuvre a free woman from her relationship or tattle for selfish reasons. Many do so because they often feel they have more to offer a man and have a perception or dislike of the other woman. If she was not there, I would have him, and so on. Many consensual kajira feel they are the only choice. This bickering and battling between women is unbecoming at best. It belittles us as human beings, and quite frankly a relationship will fail regardless of other people’s interference because of the two involved, not the actions of a third party pushing in. We are each responsible for what we bring to the table of a relationship. Free women, and kajira are both valid choices to men. Men are more than capable in choosing what woman compliments his life the best. Sometimes only one of them sometimes both.
Dating and finding partners is very challenging under the easiest of terms, let alone adding another component such as an underling alternative lifestyle. It seemingly is apparent that few can describe what a free woman is or accept valid definitions over the years in various communities. There are many people that state freedom is based only on human instinct and that we are programmed to remove ourselves by instinct from dangerous, or painful results, therefore it is our built-in instinct in our brains that control our actions, not a will. I dispute this given the fact that we often ignore what our instincts tell us to do, willfully, and choose other paths by determination, value, or our own sense of morality.
With freedom comes responsibility. It is a consequence of free will. Given we can decide and choose, we must therefore accept the consequences of all our actions as our fault whether negative or positive. After all we choose them.
Consensual slavery, submission is loosely associated with having materialist undertones. For these human beings give up their claim to free will and act in their best interest. Simply put they bring the illusion that controlling a human being is possible by consent. That by consent they give away their free will. I am not a person willing to give my cloak of freedom away at any price. My freedom is priceless, and it is mine. Being a citizen and carrying responsibility has always been a huge honor to me to carry on my shoulders. In my community, in raising successful men, in being part of change in society, and developing myself I thank my freedom for those choices, and experiences. Consensual slavery denies those choices. You are not a citizen, you are not your own, you belong to another. There are consequences to consensual slavery, you do not get to taste both worlds.
We have spoken of one of the founding keys of freedom, modesty. Now let us bring in the second key, respect.
Respect.
As a free woman you are required to respect yourself, and others in your circle. Your respect is returned among those you have earned it from. Your authority as a woman who raises children, heads a household, or is a partner of, gainsays the rest. A stranger who does not agree with your position, your opinion, your knowledge makes no difference. As a woman within her community who has built relationships and trust among her peers does not need to win over strangers who are neither welcome or wanted within the protected circle of a Gorean free woman.
There are consequences for not respecting yourself. For example, if you share nude pictures of yourself with everyone, if you share stories of yourself participating in sexual acts publicly expect that you will have no respect from others. Expect that men will judge you for your actions, and that your cloak of freedom will fall from your shoulders. Its not a question of if a Gorean woman can be sexually pleasing to her companion, privately or not. It is a question in how her modesty and respect of self is carried. She does not share such private and intimate details ever. She is not a voyeur, she doesn’t find pleasure in being part of public humiliation, or sexuality. She is private, guarded, modest, and most certainly a lady.
“The Blue Tooth did not gainsay her. The woman of the Jarl had spoken. Free women in the north have much power. The Jarl’s Woman, in the Kaissa of the north, is a more powerful piece than the Ubara in the Kaissa of the south. This is not to deny that the Ubara in the south, in fact, exercises as much or more power than her northern counterpart. It is only to recognize that her power in the south is less explicitly acknowledged.” (Marauders)
We have spoken of modesty, and respect. We will now speak of Gorean courtesy. Free women are granted the action of courtesy. It is part and parcel of their freedom.
Courtesy.
A free woman who has clearly dedicated herself to her craft as a free woman and wears her definition naturally will be given great power in courtesy. She is given deference because it is her due. Her actions as a lady show her in a class above consensual submission. Property is beneath her status, and her caste. She is a citizen and she can carry the burdens that freedom brings. There is again a consequence to freedom. Often men and women who are free find themselves at odds with each other, or their opinions.
For the record there is no law in Normans books that say a woman may be enslaved for being insolent, insulting, making fun of, or demeaning a man. She is free, she is entitled by her station to do so without punishment. Again, there are consequences, you may lose a friend, or a peer in such disagreements. It’s a price you pay for standing on moral ground or standing up for what you believe in. You bare the sum of all that you do, and why you do it. You can not rewind the clock of time to avoid judgement of your actions, you can not share responsibility with others. As a free woman you are fully, and wholly culpable for everything you do, every day, forever.
“I inclined my head, “Lady,” said I, acknowledging the introduction. To a free woman considerable deference is due, particularly to one such as the Lady Rowena, one obviously, at least hitherto, of high station. She inclined her head to me, and then lifted it, acknowledging my greeting.” (Players)
The cloak of freedom has three primary keys, modesty, respect, and courtesy. None of these things require complex clothing rather they are actions. Replace your fictional veils and robes of concealment with Normans own ethos, and requirements above realistically and in our world today. You as a free woman are in control of how you will behave, and who you will align yourself with in your community, and relationships. Pick wisely, ladies. We only have one life to live.
“But remember,” he said, smiling, “it is slaves who are assessed and have prices. Free women are priceless.” (Kajira)
Human beings who carry the mantle of freedom are priceless, and we certainly could learn a lesson from our past histories that harming or hurting people for no other reason than hurting them is a pointless endeavor. You are better to offer your absolute silence to those who do not fit, or value your morality, then spend time in the mud with them, or even begin to examine their lives against your own. Gorean citizens judge of this there is no doubt, but they also determine. They can and will determine access to their homes and lives.
Perhaps if we had gated our lives to begin with, those who do not fit into our preferences would have little to nothing to feast on with our backs turned on them. Do not allow people you do not know to be invited to your life. You don’t know what strange things, or horrible acts they could bring to you. Considering online cyber bullying, and exposing people to destroy employment, and play online warrior games, please be very careful in who you select to be part of your life.
Last, there is a place for both kinds of women within the lives of men. Women who espouse and live under the cloak of freedom, and for the women that fold and spend their lives in consensual submission. There is absolutely no need in the world for these two types of women to battle over the remnants of what remains of Gorean ethos. It is beneath them, and quite frankly unbecoming conduct. When a man chooses a woman to love, his heart doesn’t lie, he belongs to her, as much as she does to him.
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