It Starts Now

Hello Everyone!

I have final­ly found some time to write, and come back to these amaz­ing boards! Over the last month I have had an incred­i­bly busy sched­ule, and many won­der­ful changes in my life. Happy Thanksgiving to the Canadian sort!

For a num­ber of years I have been very con­tent to be part of var­i­ous online venues that have car­ried the Gorean ethos. Whether it was a board, e‑magazine, or alter­na­tive web­sites I found great val­ue to be an e‑journalist, essay con­trib­u­tor and a leader in these com­mu­ni­ties always pro­mot­ing free­dom as my per­son­al choice as a woman. From the very begin­ning of my own path years ago on a lit­tle net called Dalnet to today here at Circle of Steel, I have no regrets.

I have met peo­ple in my city, out­side my coun­try, across the ocean, and have made life long friends through this jour­ney. I had a chance to work through, and hone my own moral­i­ty that built me to who I am today. During all of this I raised two amaz­ing boys into col­lege edu­cat­ed men, built an incred­i­bly suc­cess­ful busi­ness that I sold a few years ago, built my own brand new home from scratch a cou­ple years back, bought a gor­geous and very fast car, had a chance to watch first hand my beloved Formula One cars race lis­ten­ing to those engines roar, and so much more! My life although not always easy has checked off some amaz­ing lists! Still much more to come for Old Nyre!

Today I want to talk about my last expe­ri­ences par­tic­i­pat­ing at an alter­na­tive board. You see, it was this last expe­ri­ence that opened my eyes to a brand new kind of folk, and change with­in social media, soci­ety, and what we are see­ing splayed in our media now. Falsely charg­ing peo­ple, lying, hys­ter­i­cal opin­ion­at­ed media and humil­i­a­tion tac­tics have become an every­day sta­ple in our world. To begin, I was invit­ed by some­one very close to my life to come to the board orig­i­nal­ly, talk about Gorean things, and be part of a world many of us have loved deeply. I was told that very few women were able to under­stand what free­dom looked like, or even lived like with­in Gorean ethos. Given I have only lived my life by these prin­ci­pals it was easy for me to feel I had a voice to share in this collective.

Very quick­ly I real­ized from mul­ti­ple per­son­al con­ver­sa­tions I was deal­ing with a very dif­fer­ent, and con­fus­ing sit­u­a­tion. Besides the women, who often would fall under the blan­ket of free­dom as a dis­guise only, there were deep and dark issues with­in the com­mu­ni­ty itself, par­tic­u­lar­ly with the men, who were sup­posed to being lead­ing. Many of the men with­in Gorean slat­ed groups, who pur­port­ed to be sin­gle, or avail­able came with a very new set of issues. Three of them had a litany of con­vict­ed offens­es in mul­ti­ple States that ranged from theft, to assault, to rob­bery. Another of the men, open­ly, and unashamed made fun of a woman he stole from before run­ning from the law to Alaska. Of course there was a pro­fes­sion­al in the group who was in a field that includ­ed trav­el. He spent his days using his words like “Jihad” in groups, and against peo­ple for amuse­ment and fear. Of course, and last, there was that one guy over­seas who claimed he was some Black-ops dude that spent his days sav­ing peo­ple across the world. Seemingly peo­ple for the most over­looked all of these flags from these fellows.

Folks for the most part sim­ply shrugged, and felt that every­one was flawed, and who was any­one to judge who, or what they had fac­tu­al­ly done? They want­ed to belong, to be part of some­thing, even if that some­thing meant sell­ing them­selves out for accep­tance. They found flaws to bind them togeth­er. Some were divorced men, who had to pay child sup­port, and wives bit­ter­ly. One fel­low was a rag­ing dude who had been on boards for years, and decid­ed he could feel safe to title him­self a sadist. Others lived on wel­fare and bare­ly could afford to feed them­selves. It was very dif­fi­cult to wit­ness the dif­fer­ent aspects on this board for me. As a woman who worked mul­ti­ple jobs to make ends meet, found ways to make the bills, became cre­ative to man­age my house, nev­er broke the law, nev­er had a crim­i­nal inci­dent in my life, nor even dat­ed peo­ple that were involved in that kind of life, it was hard for me to see folks who would not help them­selves, yet called them­selves Gorean. Heck as a tax pay­ing busi­ness own­er, and cit­i­zen in great stand­ing in not one coun­try but two (I am a Canadian, and a European luck­i­ly hold­ing two very valid pass­ports) I did­n’t real­ize that Gorean places hoard­ed, or even hide these kind of peo­ple in their ranks.

Slowly, as I start­ed to write on these mat­ters, voiced over and over my thoughts, and hoped for women out there to know there was more to life than this small pock­et of under-achiev­ers, and “less than lead­er­ship” in men.  I want­ed women to vet, to know who they were speak­ing to, to research who they were com­ing into con­tact with. Simply, that being part of an alter­na­tive lifestyle did not require them to pick from less than, the left­overs, the last hold­outs of these men. They could choose no. I cer­tain­ly know my posts, and voic­ing on these mat­ters was loud, and repet­i­tive. For a num­ber of years, I remained on this site in hopes that my words, arti­cles, and mes­sages might impact even one per­son through their per­son­al roads. I have no doubt that my loud, over­done, over and over again post­ings did just that.  I myself once faced a stalk­er from a num­ber of years ago that attempt­ed to impact my life. Given the sever­i­ty of this inci­dent I was giv­en so much sup­port and help from the Calgary Police, wom­en’s groups, and still am very active with­in that scope of peo­ple in my community.

Back to my point, about a month ago the same per­son who invit­ed me to come to the site in the begin­ning came back to speak to me per­son­al­ly about my work. More specif­i­cal­ly my time, and who I was as a per­son on this alter­na­tive site. It was the clar­i­ty brought to me from this per­son,  a fresh opin­ion of “what was I still doing here, and what was I achiev­ing?” that res­onat­ed with me. They felt my time was well spent, that I had done enough. I was over­whelmed by the gen­eros­i­ty, and sup­port of this per­son. Finally, they offered me some­thing I sim­ply could not refuse.  They offered that if I want­ed to leave the boards they were here for specif­i­cal­ly me, fur­ther to help me do just that, leave. Friendship, lead­er­ship, and approval of this per­son who stood the wall for me and gave me the strength to eval­u­ate there was very lit­tle left with­in a com­mu­ni­ty sealed my deci­sion. What remained was only activ­i­ty revolv­ing around a guy who only had the where­fore all to argue with some kink com­mu­ni­ty dude in Canada. That dude sim­ply spent his time steal­ing oth­er peo­ples work that had been done years pri­or. Sad stuff, that.

I had­n’t thought to leave, or even end my stay with­in this board, but eval­u­at­ing the false news, the lack of change, the inabil­i­ty to form a com­mu­ni­ty with the last folks with­in the pro­gram, I took the oppor­tu­ni­ty to leave. Please know there was “no one spe­cif­ic inci­dent” that made me leave, no silli­ness, no trau­ma, no one stalk­ing me, no one forc­ing me to go. I am in excel­lent health, still liv­ing my life suc­cess­ful­ly, and absolute­ly hav­ing fun in the field of Law, get­ting to under­stand secu­ri­ty, and wel­fare of peo­ple, hav­ing fun at court, enjoy­ing my own busi­ness, and being so grate­ful for my own career goals.  Gang, I am real­ly doing great, hon­est­ly, thank you so much for all the email. I real­ly love the sup­port and gen­er­ous time you took out to speak to me. It is the very rea­son, I felt to write about my per­son­al deci­sion today.

It is and has always been my opin­ion that try­ing to build on theft, and lies will crum­ble the foun­da­tion of any­thing.  The fel­low left there on the board who is uti­liz­ing social media for his rants real­ly is sad. His facts are unchecked, his infor­ma­tion untrue, his com­ments, false news. It is my opin­ion to state that if women are engag­ing with him that they get a back­ground check on him, and spend the time nec­es­sary to vet him. Just as I encour­age any woman going into an alter­na­tive lifestyle to do. Vetting, find­ing out who you are with is a per­son­al respon­si­bly. Please do take it seri­ous­ly. Gift your­selves ladies with knowledge.

Besides the group of crim­i­nals, this guy above from a dif­fer­ent kink, there were a few oth­er detail­ing facts for me to con­sid­er. One of the largest packs of infor­ma­tion I was informed about came from the IRC pro­gram that a friend spends time with­in. It was about a woman who post­ed as a Gorean with chil­dren on her site. I was absolute­ly shocked to see it was true when I went to the site myself. She had nude peo­ple, plus a child side by side. Further, there was an email for the child, and instruc­tions that you could cor­re­spond with the minor should you so choose. I per­son­al­ly was not a friend to the per­son, nor real­ly knew any­one who dealt with her, so I decid­ed to sim­ply put up a non nam­ing warn­ing about the fact on the alter­na­tive board that folks who engage chil­dren in alter­na­tive lifestyles should be weary of what they are doing. As with all things, many folks knew about her actions, and sev­er­al folks with­in her own group report­ed her to a vari­ety of ser­vices. I don’t live in the coun­try this per­son resides, and real­ly did­n’t feel I had the abil­i­ty to do any­thing oth­er than relate a sin­gle safe­ty mes­sage through the boards. 

Given her actions, the actions of a man beat­ing up a girl, and claim­ing peo­ple forged his crim­i­nal past(Seriously laugh­able-its avail­able online), a dude who stole from a hand­i­cap per­son all her last mon­ey from gov­ern­ment sup­port to start his life in Alaska, and many more unsa­vory folks I felt, and still feel a per­son of stand­ing like me in my own com­mu­ni­ty, career, and fam­i­ly was suf­fo­cat­ing in this envi­ron­ment. I feel, and will con­tin­ue to believe that John Norman would not want folks who love his work to be in envi­ron­ments that are tox­ic. After all, Gorean ethos was always cre­at­ed to be beautiful.

On a dif­fer­ent note, I was so blessed to meet and chat with a num­ber of hon­est, decent peo­ple on this site that had fam­i­lies like me, but smart­ly refused to be part of the Gorean com­mu­ni­ty on this alter­na­tive board, because of these crazy peo­ple I’ve spo­ken about, above. I still know and chat to sev­er­al Gorean men remain­ing on the site, they attempt to edu­cate and stand the last rem­nants of the wall. But sad­ly for the most part folks sim­ply banned, ignored, removed these peo­ple from their groups. One set of folks even set forth to watch-dog­ging them, and mak­ing fun of them in their group. The own­er of that group is a love­ly woman on the West Coast, who I absolute­ly loved chat­ting with.

I also was incred­i­bly proud to open a group of my own, and run it for a num­ber of years called, “The Art of Being a Woman” which was hard for me to leave behind. The women in this group, and myself nev­er had a sin­gle issue, or attack with­in the group once. Several of the lead­ers of this group absolute­ly have my heart, and I real­ly wish I could have stayed, and spend time hear­ing how their lives were going. I know this group will live on and that women will find their way to these beau­ti­ful girls, and that it will enhance their growth on this board being part of these smart, bright, and tal­ent­ed women.

Even though there was such a dark aspect to this alter­na­tive site, there is also such a won­der­ful and beau­ti­ful part to the site. There are peo­ple who have val­ue, are wor­thy, want to engage appro­pri­ate­ly, and find the most amaz­ing things with­in the program.

Finally, just as the top­ic of this per­son­al essay states, It Starts Now, and it tru­ly does for me. I will be writ­ing on this forum, spend­ing my time on cur­ren­cy that will mer­it valu­able friend­ships, and con­tin­ue to live my life as I have always lived, as a great cit­i­zen, a great daugh­ter, a love­ly mum, a stu­dent, a learn­er, a builder, and a leader. It is and will always be my deep­est wish women who want to be part of this Philosophy will vet, back­ground check, edu­cate them­selves on those they allow in their cir­cle. It is and will always be my stan­dard that being involved with peo­ple who do not under­stand the law, bound­aries, or respect the nat­ur­al order are not capa­ble of lead­ing. If men are inca­pable of lead­ing, they have failed.

 

Nyre

All rights reserved, Copyright NG 2018
If you want to use my work on a web­site, or oth­er­wise please ask me, I am a writer and expect the cour­tesy of grant­i­ng per­mis­sion to those who ask me. Do not steal my work.

 

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