(Reprinted from original publication in the Gorean Voice magazine)
From time to time, every man who follows the Gorean Way will find himself in a position where his woman has been sufficiently, and knowingly, displeasing enough to warrant punishment of some sort. The first question arises, however, is punishment actually necessary? Some would say that an adult should be aware and intelligent enough to not behave in a fashion that merits a punishment, and that if such behavior occurs that it reflects other, deeper problems to be resolved. This is quite possible, however, the basic fact that the woman has behaved in a manner that was very displeasing to her man.
In the books, it’s stated clearly that the displeasure of a man is not to be taken lightly by his woman, be she free or slave.
If she has not pleased her Master of late, she may be, of course, as a disciplinary measure, simply chained nude to the slave ring in the bottom of the couch, sans both the blanket and the mat. The stones of the floor are hard and the Gorean nights cold and it is a rare girl who, when unchained in the morning, does not seek more dutifully to serve her master. This harsh treatment, incidentally, when she is thought to deserve it, may even be inflicted on a free companion, in spite of the fact that she is free and usually much loved. According to the Gorean way of looking at things a taste of the slave ring is thought to be occasionally beneficial to all women, even the exalted free woman. Thus when she has been irritable or otherwise troublesome even a Free Companion may find herself at the foot of the couch looking forward to a pleasant night on the stones, stripped, with neither mat nor blanket, chained to the slave ring precisely as though she were a lowly slave girl. It is the Gorean way of reminding her, should she need to be reminded, that she, too, is a woman, and thus to be dominated, to be subject to men. Should she be tempted to forget this basic fact of Gorean life the slave ring set in the bottom of each Gorean couch is there to refresh her memory. Gor is a mans world.
– Priest-Kings of Gor page 67
So why would an adult, an otherwise intelligent woman, commit an act that she most likely was well aware would displease her man? Perhaps to gain attention that she thinks is lacking. Perhaps to test his will, to see if he is strong enough to discipline her. Perhaps simply to reassure herself that her boundaries are yet intact. Or maybe it is to see if he still cares enough to do what is necessary, still cares enough about her and their relationship to maintain it. The reasons will vary, and ultimately, whatever the reason may be, it will not change the fact that the woman has done something to merit discipline, punishment.
On the other hand, it is not too unusual a set of compartments on Gor where the master, in effect, willingly wears the collar, and his lovely slave, by the practice of the delightful wiles of her sex, with scandalous success wheedles her way triumphantly from the satisfaction of one whim to the next.
– Outlaws of Gor page 51
For all of those reasons it is necessary for the man to take action, and perhaps also to reaffirm and know his own ability and strength to mete out punishment. It is altogether too easy for a woman to have been so pleasing that a man might begin to overlook small lapses, to rationalize and accept more and more excesses and abuses on the part of his woman.
Disciplinary measures serve other purposes as well. They not only declare to the woman that the displeasing behavior will not be tolerated, that she is being held to the man’s standards. That he cares enough about her to ensure that she will be truly superb to him. Discipline and punishment give a clear system of consequence to actions. This may seem obvious, but if you compare it to a more conventional relationship where consequences are either non-existant or petty and vague, the value can be more clearly seen.
We live in a world where consequences for our actions are not always readily apparent, and are often not commensurate with the action, good or bad. This is one of the things that the books display again and again; that there are always consequences to what we choose to do, and this perhaps makes it much easier for people to see what the proper course of action is. In the Gorean relationship between a man and a woman, clear consequences means that each knows better how to behave, what to expect. Each knows their place with respect to the other. Each knows what is acceptible to the other, and what is not. It is a measure of surety and security, a form of communication that far exceeds that of many conventional relationships.
The best disciplines and punishments are those which are exactly equal to the offense which was committed. This cannot be over-stressed. The Gorean man holds in his hands the final justice over his woman, he is the arbitor of her right and her wrong. If he displays an uneven hand, unfair or capricious punishments, he also displays what is, at best, poor judgement. At worst, he becomes a tyrant, and an object of fear. Either way, he has lost face. His woman no longer knows precisely what to expect, and accordingly her behavior and performance will suffer. She will become plagued with hesitation and doubt, never knowing if what was pleasing and acceptible yesterday will merit a severe whipping today.
It is important to understand the nature of punishment; it is not enjoyable to either party. If it was pleasurable, then quite simply, it isn’t really punishment but at best, a game being played. If pleasure is taken from the infliction of pain, then sadism is what is actually being practiced. If that’s what someone likes, that’s fine, but it is not the Gorean Way in any degree. Sadism is considered a sickness amongst those of Gor, a disease like any other to be rooted out and exterminated.
Perhaps it should only be added that the Gorean master, though often strict, is seldom cruel. The girl knows, if she pleases him, her lot will be an easy one. She will almost never encounter sadism or wanton cruelty, for the psychological environment that tends to breed these diseases is largely absent from Gor. This does not mean that she will not expect to be beaten if she disobeys, or fails to please her master.
– Priest-Kings of Gor page 51
To settle any question of the terminology, the Merriam Webster Dictionary offers the following definitions;
- sadism
- a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object).
- delight in cruelty
- excessive cruelty
- cruelty
- disposed to inflict pain or suffering, devoid of humane feelings
- causing or conducive to grief, injury, or pain
- unrelieved by leniency
In the final analysis, the Gorean man is dominant over is Gorean woman. He makes the judgements and rules that they shall both abide by, in his hands rests final responsibility for both their well-beings. By the quality of his decisions and his will in carrying them out, he is known. By his maintenance of his relationship with his woman, with discipline and if need be, punishment, his woman will know the extent of his strength and his wisdom.
– LionHeart
Rarius, Intended of Nyre
Copyright © June 2000, LionHeart
Something that is often forgotten is that punishment is a -psychological- process more than a physical process. The idea is not to hurt her, it’s to make her feel consequence. This is one reason why sadism has no place–if you want her to feel pain and relish it, you are going to teach her that is your pleasure. As she-who-seeks-your-pleasure, she is going to pursue your pleasure, which means she’s likely to do things to get punished.
In terms of BDSM practice, whatever, “you do you” as they say. But in terms of Gorean expression, you’ll end up with a slave that does the opposite of what you intended.
The idea is to communicate your -displeasure- and if the process itself displeases you, then if the physical nature of the punishment does not realign her, the manifestation of your discontent will.