You might not be Gorean if…

…You have named your recently acquired property, “littleone” or babydoll” or “sweetiekins” or “sugarbottom” ( From Wise old Bear)

…You have a wife, but secretly sign online to play “Master” mostly because you are bored, and rarely get laid.

…You have set up *safe* words so your special love kajira doesn’t get scared when weird shit happens.

…You do weird shit. ( like breath play, and scream out, ITS only kink, I can be Kinky!)

…You are a Marxist, or a Liberal Progressive.

…Your morality is defined by safe, sane and consensual. (BDSM tool)

…You steal. You take other peoples money, even if it is well fare, and claim you were teaching folks lessons. You tell your other buddies, and then they hide the fact you stole! Its all good, it was only a dumb woman after all.

…You are a drunk. Cant control your drink, or your life.

..You find it fun to run around and beat up people just because.

…You are hiding from a warrant, cant master yourself, right?

…You and your buddies are all butt-hurt over who got to f*ck the girl, and sadly enough you weren’t part of that. Guess what, it was always about the girl. Weak dicks ;0

…You secretly apply to become a Caretaker because you believe Gorean Online Venues need your kind of tough.(sic) You wonder if the folks looking at your application will remember you called Jihad on a message board…online. U b strong, Jedi. Sadly you work in the airline industry and found using the word Jihad funny! It wasnt, nor was it showing Mastery of self, dude.

…You are passive aggressive, to one friend you say you don’t really want to be part of the issues you are, and to another person you tell them how wonderful they are because you are weak.

…You are weak. Did I say weak, What I meant was.. You are weak.

…You don’t really meet the women you collar, they are online only! One day though you intend to meet them, and find true love! But only for a short hotel visit while you spank them and f*ck them… careful not to miss your flights!

…You have a tantrum when a woman you want to meet doesn’t want to go to a hotel room to hang out with you. Hell, she cuts to the chase and even says, public place, or else! After berating her for not being A REAL KAJIRA, you slap that bitch on ignore! Damn you are strong!

…You need to text your possible kajira every two hours, and if she doesn’t text back you suddenly realize she could be online Mastering with someone else! Holy crap, you have lost control of your possible, online, I might get laid, girl. Now what! PS, You also put her on ignore because she doesn’t jump to your every whim. Damn that bitch!

…You make your love Master fetch your “drinkie” cause you want a liddle straw and stuff, its too cold for a kajira like you. (Courtesy of flame)

…You have two or three collars in a matter of days, whine about being judged, cry out how unfair everyone is, and run off crying because your games weren’t believed.

…You are afraid of a woman, and consistently blame her for the downfall of Gorean ethos. ( Weak men )

..You join a woman’s group, and claim you need to monitor it. Or you have a woman’s group, for women, about women and half your members are guys.. laughs, why not just hang out in the women’s bathroom too, losers!

…You scream out, carry on… have sour milk over a hookup you had. whether the sex was bad, or you couldn’t milk the guy for money to save you. But hey buck up there are few other married men hiding in the corners waiting to have a taste of ya!

…Your mental state, health, mental disorders impair your judgement, and you utilize them as a tool to guilt or beat others with it. Instead of striving to work through it, and engage in positive behavior. Its always about you.. you know the you in you.. only you. To hell with obedience, or decency, or even leadership!

..You settle for less than you deserve as a person. Goreans expect the most, the best, exquisite beauty, and  absolute obedience. Not sorta kinda, when you feel like it stuff.

…You copycat something that was never yours. You try to recreate a group of people you never knew, laying it on the feet of “women are just jealous over men’s toys”. You fail to think for yourself, create new things, and be your own person rather than a mimic. You steal.

..You accept property pretending to be kajira, when they lift their fake brows, and display behaviors that have no equivalency to beauty, or obedience, but hey… as long as your subs are obedient to their “one true love master” that is Gor enough for you, ya?

..You stand on the shoulders of others pretending your years off f*cking around in BDSM venues wasn’t noticed, or remembered. You miraculously appear and suddenly use words like.. Old Gor, Old Guard. Hey guess what some of us still remember what pieces of shit you were then, and lacking to all the way today… a continuous lacking. You think Goreans forget, or no one is around to remember, try again.

..You insist Goreans can be leather-man, or BDSMERS working through a group of kink and oddness. You look up and wonder, hey why doesn’t a tenured professor want to hang out with us all? We are Gorean like his books say, but wait, he didn’t mean BDSM wasn’t part of Gor, no no.. he just pretended that sentence in tons of interviews…I mean after all you aren’t that big of freaks playing in choke me, water play, and host of other creepy debatable stuff.

..You insist you were in porn in your younger years, and claim your strength is having couples have sex. How messed up is that, standing between a guy and gal and showing them where to put parts.. get a grip.

..You like to tie women up under water and see them choke.

..You scream leather is Gorean!

…You spend hours online claiming to others NOT to dare be online Goreans, but um hey isn’t it you online dude, spending hours? Fellowship that 😉

…You own other peoples wives, and think.. well HEY that’s good enough right?

…You Gas Light other Gorean folk by using excessive tools to call them out, while claiming you are a 1%er. You scream I have honor, but then never use it.

..You are a Predator, you use blocking, silencing tools, even restraining orders to remove people from site, but little do they know you can see them. You lie say folks are sending messages about those folks you blocked, but seriously its you stalking the people you said were coming after you. ( Sociopath much) Goreans have yes, Mastered themselves, and how they behave.

..You outright Lie, and manipulate stories to fit some sort of messed up agenda you have. You are loosing control, and are trying everything including going to peoples homes and towns to stalk them. You see you are using your bully and predator skills to show people how you HANDLE things the old fashioned way. Its really called stalking, and its a law breaker 😉 Goreans are proud of their communities, don’t need to wear I AM GOREAN on name tags on their clothing.

..You are selfish. Forget about thinking what is best for your family, you simply do not care. Its about you, showing your body, your pictures, your nudity, your lifestyle, not placing minor children in danger all over the world wide web. You see you forgot what it meant when the statement, IN their best interest is. Goreans would never dare harm a child, or place them in places that could expose them to creeps, and losers. They are fiercely protective of what they own, and who they have under their roof. Its not really wise to mess with one.

..You simply have no honor

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