You might not be Gorean if…

…You have named your recent­ly acquired prop­er­ty, “lit­tleone” or baby­doll” or “sweet­iekins” or “sug­ar­bot­tom” ( From Wise old Bear)

…You have a wife, but secret­ly sign online to play “Master” most­ly because you are bored, and rarely get laid.

…You have set up *safe* words so your spe­cial love kaji­ra does­n’t get scared when weird shit happens.

…You do weird shit. ( like breath play, and scream out, ITS only kink, I can be Kinky!)

…You are a Marxist, or a Liberal Progressive.

…Your moral­i­ty is defined by safe, sane and con­sen­su­al. (BDSM tool)

…You steal. You take oth­er peo­ples mon­ey, even if it is well fare, and claim you were teach­ing folks lessons. You tell your oth­er bud­dies, and then they hide the fact you stole! Its all good, it was only a dumb woman after all.

…You are a drunk. Cant con­trol your drink, or your life.

..You find it fun to run around and beat up peo­ple just because.

…You are hid­ing from a war­rant, cant mas­ter your­self, right?

…You and your bud­dies are all butt-hurt over who got to f*ck the girl, and sad­ly enough you weren’t part of that. Guess what, it was always about the girl. Weak dicks ;0

…You secret­ly apply to become a Caretaker because you believe Gorean Online Venues need your kind of tough.(sic) You won­der if the folks look­ing at your appli­ca­tion will remem­ber you called Jihad on a mes­sage board…online. U b strong, Jedi. Sadly you work in the air­line indus­try and found using the word Jihad fun­ny! It was­nt, nor was it show­ing Mastery of self, dude.

…You are pas­sive aggres­sive, to one friend you say you don’t real­ly want to be part of the issues you are, and to anoth­er per­son you tell them how won­der­ful they are because you are weak.

…You are weak. Did I say weak, What I meant was.. You are weak.

…You don’t real­ly meet the women you col­lar, they are online only! One day though you intend to meet them, and find true love! But only for a short hotel vis­it while you spank them and f*ck them… care­ful not to miss your flights!

…You have a tantrum when a woman you want to meet does­n’t want to go to a hotel room to hang out with you. Hell, she cuts to the chase and even says, pub­lic place, or else! After berat­ing her for not being A REAL KAJIRA, you slap that bitch on ignore! Damn you are strong!

…You need to text your pos­si­ble kaji­ra every two hours, and if she does­n’t text back you sud­den­ly real­ize she could be online Mastering with some­one else! Holy crap, you have lost con­trol of your pos­si­ble, online, I might get laid, girl. Now what! PS, You also put her on ignore because she does­n’t jump to your every whim. Damn that bitch!

…You make your love Master fetch your “drinkie” cause you want a lid­dle straw and stuff, its too cold for a kaji­ra like you. (Courtesy of flame)

…You have two or three col­lars in a mat­ter of days, whine about being judged, cry out how unfair every­one is, and run off cry­ing because your games weren’t believed.

…You are afraid of a woman, and con­sis­tent­ly blame her for the down­fall of Gorean ethos. ( Weak men )

..You join a wom­an’s group, and claim you need to mon­i­tor it. Or you have a wom­an’s group, for women, about women and half your mem­bers are guys.. laughs, why not just hang out in the wom­en’s bath­room too, losers!

…You scream out, car­ry on… have sour milk over a hookup you had. whether the sex was bad, or you could­n’t milk the guy for mon­ey to save you. But hey buck up there are few oth­er mar­ried men hid­ing in the cor­ners wait­ing to have a taste of ya!

…Your men­tal state, health, men­tal dis­or­ders impair your judge­ment, and you uti­lize them as a tool to guilt or beat oth­ers with it. Instead of striv­ing to work through it, and engage in pos­i­tive behav­ior. Its always about you.. you know the you in you.. only you. To hell with obe­di­ence, or decen­cy, or even leadership!

..You set­tle for less than you deserve as a per­son. Goreans expect the most, the best, exquis­ite beau­ty, and  absolute obe­di­ence. Not sor­ta kin­da, when you feel like it stuff.

…You copy­cat some­thing that was nev­er yours. You try to recre­ate a group of peo­ple you nev­er knew, lay­ing it on the feet of “women are just jeal­ous over men’s toys”. You fail to think for your­self, cre­ate new things, and be your own per­son rather than a mim­ic. You steal.

..You accept prop­er­ty pre­tend­ing to be kaji­ra, when they lift their fake brows, and dis­play behav­iors that have no equiv­a­len­cy to beau­ty, or obe­di­ence, but hey… as long as your subs are obe­di­ent to their “one true love mas­ter” that is Gor enough for you, ya?

..You stand on the shoul­ders of oth­ers pre­tend­ing your years off f*cking around in BDSM venues was­n’t noticed, or remem­bered. You mirac­u­lous­ly appear and sud­den­ly use words like.. Old Gor, Old Guard. Hey guess what some of us still remem­ber what pieces of shit you were then, and lack­ing to all the way today… a con­tin­u­ous lack­ing. You think Goreans for­get, or no one is around to remem­ber, try again.

..You insist Goreans can be leather-man, or BDSMERS work­ing through a group of kink and odd­ness. You look up and won­der, hey why does­n’t a tenured pro­fes­sor want to hang out with us all? We are Gorean like his books say, but wait, he did­n’t mean BDSM was­n’t part of Gor, no no.. he just pre­tend­ed that sen­tence in tons of interviews…I mean after all you aren’t that big of freaks play­ing in choke me, water play, and host of oth­er creepy debat­able stuff.

..You insist you were in porn in your younger years, and claim your strength is hav­ing cou­ples have sex. How messed up is that, stand­ing between a guy and gal and show­ing them where to put parts.. get a grip.

..You like to tie women up under water and see them choke.

..You scream leather is Gorean!

…You spend hours online claim­ing to oth­ers NOT to dare be online Goreans, but um hey isn’t it you online dude, spend­ing hours? Fellowship that 😉

…You own oth­er peo­ples wives, and think.. well HEY that’s good enough right?

…You Gas Light oth­er Gorean folk by using exces­sive tools to call them out, while claim­ing you are a 1%er. You scream I have hon­or, but then nev­er use it.

..You are a Predator, you use block­ing, silenc­ing tools, even restrain­ing orders to remove peo­ple from site, but lit­tle do they know you can see them. You lie say folks are send­ing mes­sages about those folks you blocked, but seri­ous­ly its you stalk­ing the peo­ple you said were com­ing after you. ( Sociopath much) Goreans have yes, Mastered them­selves, and how they behave.

..You out­right Lie, and manip­u­late sto­ries to fit some sort of messed up agen­da you have. You are loos­ing con­trol, and are try­ing every­thing includ­ing going to peo­ples homes and towns to stalk them. You see you are using your bul­ly and preda­tor skills to show peo­ple how you HANDLE things the old fash­ioned way. Its real­ly called stalk­ing, and its a law break­er 😉 Goreans are proud of their com­mu­ni­ties, don’t need to wear I AM GOREAN on name tags on their clothing.

..You are self­ish. Forget about think­ing what is best for your fam­i­ly, you sim­ply do not care. Its about you, show­ing your body, your pic­tures, your nudi­ty, your lifestyle, not plac­ing minor chil­dren in dan­ger all over the world wide web. You see you for­got what it meant when the state­ment, IN their best inter­est is. Goreans would nev­er dare harm a child, or place them in places that could expose them to creeps, and losers. They are fierce­ly pro­tec­tive of what they own, and who they have under their roof. Its not real­ly wise to mess with one.

..You sim­ply have no honor

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